Saturday, January 10, 2009

Upon reading "Blue Like Jazz"

I've just finished reading Donald "Don" Miller's book, Blue Like Jazz. On the cover, it says "Nonreligious thoughts about Christian spirituality," which intrigued me. My friends had all recommended it to me (as well as any other Christian I've spoken to...well most of them.), so I took my Christmas money and bought it.

This book reflects my own "journey" and some of the doubts I've been having. Can I still be "indie"...ish, and still be a Christian? of course. Is loneliness normal? no, it comes from sin. This leads me to a realization which this blog post is about today:

Loneliness.

If you've paid attention to this blog, or know me in general, I've been a bit of a recluse this past semester. (a recluse is someone who shuts his or herself in their room a lot, somebody asked, so I put the definition) Every day I came home from class/other responsibilities, and was just exhausted. What also exhausted me was being around people. I avoided other people, even ignored them, because I thought (as Don Miller put it) "the play was about me." That I was the lead role, and all other people were the supporting actors/actresses. Unimportant. Not Useful to my character development. This is so not true. It's not healthy to be alone so much. I've started chattering to myself a lot, seeing things, imagining things that seem real. Don Miller, having gone through a similar stage, even saw Emily Dickinson when he visited her home. Like actually saw her, though he was going a bit crazy at the time, like I am. I've been craving social interaction. I need to be around other people. I laugh more, am happier, and can grow in my walk with the Lord through others. I'm kind of in a transition phase right now, which was put on pause due to my crazy semester (I changed Bible Studies, am changing campus ministry groups...), but I want no need to get back on track with my social life. It's been getting sad. I've spent my whole winter vacation at my house. I mean C'MON! heh.

So yeah, this post wasn't about anything in general, I guess. Just a realization of how important a social life is. I'm tired of being a recluse.

I've also been trying to lose weight, like for serious. Pray for me?

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